Cash to Spend

Since Ford has kindly provided me with a car and gas for the next month, I find myself in the enviable position of having cash to spend. As a starving graduate student, this is a responsibility I'm taking seriously, so I figure the most responsible place to spend this extra cash is, of course, SkyMall.

Exhibit A: The FoodSaber


It's hard to believe I have lived 24 years in this dangerous world without owning a magic wand which "kills 99.9% of bacteria and viruses, in 10 seconds." But the Nano-uv Wand will change all of that. Not only does this mystical object kill off bacteria and microorganisms with its unsettling glow, it also reduces "dust mite populations in mattresses, pillows and carpets at home or away." Finally, a dust mite solution! In all seriousness, however, I don't blame this hand model for waving her light saber over this spread. It looks like she pulled that knife out of an archeological site. I'd probably wave the wand over it, and a holy book too for good measure.